Every word that we speak, or sound that we make, sets in motion either harmony or discord in our lives. – Laurel Elizabeth Keyes
Springtime marks new beginnings in the cycle of life. Last night I thought about all the changes happening in my family’s life. My mom is moving into an apartment and my older daughter is going into an addiction treatment center. It is so easy to get tangled into the lives of my family members.
It can be stressful trying to help my family. I want what is best for them. However, there is an element of surrender in the process. I need to “see how the cards are played.” My family members have their own lives to live. I want to protect them – and I will try my best to guide them. I need to find the balance of helping them and taking care of myself.
It is easy to try to control situations, especially with my mom who is getting older. My Buddhist teacher Bhante Sathi (www.triplegems.org) says we need mindfulness and compassion when we help our family members. We need to communicate with our heart – this is very important. We need to be mindful of our words.
Other important factors of mindful communication with our family members include deep listening, respect, and love. Be aware of the tone of your voice. Anodea Judith & Selene Vega in their book, “The Sevenfold Journey: Reclaiming Mind, Body & Spirit Through the Chakras” says, “The more we enter into resonance with our internal rhythms the more easily we can strike up resonance with another and have clear and profound communication. Next time you are struggling with difficult communication, pay attention to the rhythms of speech between you and your partner and see if you can develop a resonance to help the communication process.”
Resonance is the quality in a sound of being deep, full, and reverberating. It can also mean an intensification of vocal tones during articulation, as by the air cavities of the mouth and nasal passages. At the end of this blog post is a simple toning exercise that you can do to increase your resonance. (The lady in the video can let her breath out for a long time. Don’t worry. Just take another breath.)
Another part of communication is to tell the truth. This can be challenging. According to Dr. Brenda Davies, “Truth which is not simply a collection of static facts, but a living, developing, dynamic process.” It takes courage the speak the truth.
Davies continues to say, “As long as we responsibly share our own truth and are willing to hear that of other people, then there is ongoing evolution throughout the universe.
This prompts us to hold the truth lightly and with flexibility, being willing to look at new facts and concepts in order to incorporate them into our lives.”
I am a little scared to speak the truth to my mother and daughter. There is so much that I want to say, but I need to find the right time to express myself. I know that emotions bubble up and I need to be brave. I need to trust the universe and have flexibility in my mind and emotions.