The Transient Life

I am starting to understand the Buddhist terms of “impermanence” and “openness.” I recall telling my Buddhist teacher, during tea time, that I exist and I don’t exist, and that there is a lot of freedom because I don’t exist. My teacher said, “No, that’s not correct. You do exist.” I felt a little embarrassed being corrected in front of everyone in the group.

I went home telling myself, “I am right – I don’t exist.” I held onto my opinion firmly for many months. Now I realize that my teacher wanted me to go beyond dualist thinking. I know the correct answer to the riddle of this problem: I am open-minded. I am space.

According to the Tibetan Book of the Dead, upon physical death, the body dissolves from earth to water, water to fire, fire to air, and air to space. I believe one of the secrets to life is to cultivate an open and spacious mind while living in a physical body. How can my mind become like space? How would I live differently?

Another word in Buddhism is “impermanence.” We are transient beings. Many grasping and attachments develop when we fail to let go of our attachments. Fear also holds us back.

I recently read a book titled “In Love with the World” by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. In this book, he says that life is a dream and we live in dream worlds – the day and night dream. Mingyur even learns to realize he is dreaming during his nighttime dreams. He also said that when we sleep, it is similar to the dream state of physical death.

I had a realistic dream last night. I recall being in a house, but it wasn’t my childhood home, except for the presence of a piano and a piano bench. I was looking for my mother’s shoes, which I found on the floor and under the piano bench. Then, I remember being outside the house, where I saw my mom and dad standing together. However, in the dream, my dad was physically present, and my mom was more like a hologram. My mom did not talk. I gave my dad a big hug and said I missed mom with tears in my eyes. I started to cry as he held me.

My dad hugged me back and asked if everything was okay. I told him I was okay. My mom stood nearby like a witness. Somehow, I knew she wasn’t really there. Then I woke up. I cried a little again, because it was Mother’s Day and I missed my mom.

The dream gave me a lot of comfort because I know my parents are okay. My mom passed away just a few months ago, which could explain why she was present in a hologram. I am trying not to make judgments about the dream. However, there’s a lot to reflect upon.

The point of this blog post is that we can all develop a spacious mind. We can work on the transitional stages in our present lives, rather than waiting until physical death to achieve the spaciousness of our mind. Can we learn to hold onto nothing?

I know I can be in this world and be okay, despite the ups and downs of life. I see each person as a Buddha, just like Mingyur does. Each person has all the elements within them, just as I do. Each person has the ability to “wake up” in the dream.

My Buddhist teacher wanted to teach me a lesson. I needed to learn to let go of my opinions. Also, when I say, “I am right,” I limit myself. Making strong judgments creates a box around me, so where is the sky now?

Meditation and self-reflection create mental and spiritual space. We need to return to our self-development and alone time, free from distractions. By doing so, we can reclaim our spacious minds and cultivate a more profound sense of inner peace.

Namaste.

11 Lessons I Learned from a Silent Meditation Retreat

silence

I just spent four days on a silent meditation retreat with http://www.triplegem.org. Here are 11 lessons that I learned from the retreat:

  1. Be a noble friend to yourself. Take good care of yourself. Remember you are the only doorway to the existence for yourself. During the retreat, I realized that I am too critical with myself. I need to let go of things and be my own best friend.
  2. If you find value in something, continue to pursue it. There are many times that I want to give up on something that’s good for me. For example, sometimes I will find excuses not to go to meditation class.
  3. Watch how your thoughts can cause suffering. Do not be mislead by unguided thoughts or false views. Wisdom comes by seeing the whole picture or the whole story (endowed with insight).
  4. Find commonality among other people. Most people want to improve their lives. We are more alike than different.
  5. Decide to lead a spiritual life, even if that means going through it alone. I realized that most of my family members do not accept that I am Buddhist. My family members are Catholic and they do not understand the Buddhist way of living. Sometimes I feel like I am estranged from my family. However, I know that the Buddhist path is right for me, so I will walk alone if I have to.
  6. Renunciate. In Buddhism, the Pali word for “renunciation” is nekkhamma, conveying more specifically “giving up the world and leading a holy life.” My holy life includes daily practice of yoga and meditation, serving humanity through hospice work, attending a weekly meditation group (sangha) with my Buddhist teacher, sharing metta (loving-kindness) with everyone that I meet, and continuing self-study. I want to increase mindfulness.
  7. Spiritual practices like meditation, yoga, prayer, and reading spiritual literature can help keep you on the right path.
  8. It is important to forgive and move on. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
  9. Gratitude creates a joyful heart. “Constantly apply cheerfulness, if for no other reason than because you are on this spiritual path. Have a sense of gratitude to everything, even difficult emotions, because of their potential to wake you up.” – Pema Chodron
  10. Use your time wisely. We all have 24-hours in a day. You can create a spiritual life with the right choices.
  11. Never do anything that the wise would reprove (reprimand). We are never alone. There are always celestial beings around us.

Namaste, world.