The Lived Life

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butterfly girlI have been thinking a lot about the quality of life and death. My Buddhist teacher, Bhante Sathi, asked me one simple question that will not get out of my head. He asked me, “Are you satisfied with your life?” And I replied, “Yes.” When I look at my life, I am satisfied with everything that I did. I have a few things that I would do differently, but, all in all, I am satisfied.

An unlived life causes the fear of death. If you are happy with your life, then you can let go. But if you feel that you did not live your life, then fear can appear. Are YOU satisfied with your life?

Almost every day, I sit with the dying. I see my patients mortality and my mortality and the brief span of time that we call life. The Buddhists believe, just like in nature, there are two events: birth and death. I, too, believe that we are part of a cycle of birth and death (reincarnation). I do not fear death. However, I am curious.

Do you sleep at night? Sleep is the twin of death (Yalom, 2008). We experience a taste of death every night. Death is part of us, part of nature. And every morning is a symbol of rebirth. All things begin and end and then start again.

Most of my hospice patients decline until they are in a sleep-like coma. Also, they hold their breath. Some hospice practitioner’s call this, “Fish out of the water.” They retain their breath like a fish out of water, opening and closing its mouth. After they hold their breath, then they need to catch their breath. So it’s a cycle of retention (holding the breath) and fast breathing.

When I watch my patients breathe, I understand the importance of learning pranayama (regulation of the breath through specific techniques and exercises). Pranayama exercises help us to prepare for death. As a yoga practitioner, I understand the value of training the prana (breath/life-giving force). According to B. K. S. Iyengar (yoga master), it is best to practice pranayama with an experienced Guru or a skilled teacher.

Meditation also helps us prepare for death. Again, we watch the breath. In life, the breath is always with us.

When you are satisfied with your life, there is no fear of death. You lived your life to the fullest! No regrets. The essence of who you are stays with you. You go to sleep as you, and you wake up as you. It is through wisdom that we see the truth.

Namaste, world.

Reference:

Yalom, I. D. (2008). Staring at the sun: Overcoming the dread of death. London, Great Britain: Piatkus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be Like a Tree in a Storm, by Thich Nhat Hanh

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Yoga-Tree

A strong emotion is like a storm. If you look at a tree in a storm, the top of the tree seems fragile, like it might break at any moment. You are afraid the storm might uproot the tree. But if you turn your attention to the trunk of the tree, you realize that its roots are deeply anchored in the ground, and you see that the tree will be able to hold.

You too are a tree. During the storm of emotion, you should not stay at the level of the head or heart, which are like the top of the tree. You have to leave the heart, the eye of the storm, and come back to the trunk of the tree. Your trunk is one centimeter below your navel. Focus there, paying attention only to the movement of your abdomen, and continue to breathe. Then you will survive the storm of strong emotion.

You should not wait for emotion to appear before you begin practicing. Otherwise, you will be carried away by the storm. You should train now, while the emotion is not there. So sit or lay down and practice mindfulness of the breath, using the movement of your abdomen as the object of your attention. I am positive that if you do this exercise for twenty days, ten minutes per day, then you will know how to practice whenever a strong emotion comes up. After ten or twenty minutes, the emotion will go away, and you will be saved from the storm. – Thich Nhat Hanh

Sweet Words

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Girl dreaming

I had a very unusual experience that happened to me last week. During my sleep, I heard a voice speak to me. The female voice said, “Thank you for your sweet words.” I did not have any dream-like images, just the verbal message. The message was from my hospice patient Jennifer. I found out the next morning, after waking up and checking my work email messages, that Jennifer died.

I remember the feelings of Jennifer’s message during my sleep. I felt warmth and friendship. I felt sincerity and comfort, like a big hug. Jennifer’s message touched my heart and confirmed my calling to work with hospice patients.

Jennifer died of breast cancer. A few days before her death, I spent time with her and her family. As a hospice massage therapist, I gently massaged Jennifer’s hands and feet. Her husband and two sisters joined me as everyone lightly touched Jennifer.  The family reminisced about Jennifer’s past. They were eager to show me pictures of Jennifer. I remember saying, “Jennifer is beautiful.” Also, I told her husband that he was doing a great job caring for his wife. I made sure my words were full of appreciation, encouragement, and love.

In my dream, I knew it was Jennifer’s voice that sent me the message. As I was preparing to leave after my visit with Jennifer, I held her hand, and I said, “God bless you.” And she said “God bless you” back to me. I remember the sound of her voice. She didn’t speak a word during the whole time that I was there, so I was surprised to hear her voice so clearly.

Buddha
Photo by Gina M. Gafford

Remember words have power. Words carry vibration and energy.  Ask yourself, “Are my words beneficial to the listener? Do my written words benefit the reader?” Speak and write from your heart.

The message from Jennifer is a gift. She expressed gratitude, and I must have touched her soul; literally. Joy fills my heart, and I am thankful for the gift of her presence.

Namaste, world.