Author: Tunnel Vision 8

Preparing for an Ayahuasca Retreat

/ Tunnel Vision 8 





In less than two weeks, I will be leaving for Peru. I will spend four days in Cusco to see Machu Picchu, and then I will spend 10 days at a retreat center in Tarapoto, located in the Amazon jungle. Currently, I’m on a diet to prepare for the 10-day cleanse, which excludes sugar, caffeine, salt, meat (no problem – I’m a vegetarian), junk food, alcohol (which I don’t consume), and dairy products. I can eat fresh or cooked vegetables, legumes, beans, rice, oats, quinoa, and other grains. Additionally, I can consume fresh fruits and juices, as well as organic eggs.





Last summer, I had booked a yoga retreat in Peru, but I changed my mind. I decided to join an ayahuasca plant medicine retreat with Dr. Mary Newstrom instead (https://www.zenithhigh.com/). I had been eyeing this retreat for a few years. However, every time registration came up, I felt fear. I wasn’t ready to work with Mother Ayahuasca.





I’m still not sure if I will participate in the four ayahuasca ceremonies during the retreat. I will follow my intuition. One of my friends reminded me that my mom just passed away in February, and I might be sensitive to energies, so I should take caution.





Another friend said I should embrace the once-in-a-lifetime experience. Nevertheless, I’m preparing for the retreat and also starting a digital detox by reducing my screen time. However, the most important thing is having an open heart and mind. 





Mother Ayahuasca removes the veil to the Bardo, the “in-between” world. To enter this realm, I must become a brave warrior, one who does not fear anything, and this requires courage. One warrior that comes to my mind is St. Joan of Arc. She also received visions and messages from the spirit world, and she faced her fears.





In some schools of Buddhism, the Bardo is an intermediate and transitional state between death and rebirth. The term “Bardo” means “in-between.”





I think we can work with Bardo in our present lives. Additionally, it’s crucial to realize that the quality of our minds follows us after death, whether joyful or troubled. If we don’t work with Bardo now, we will eventually need to face it.












Ayahuasca Vine





Ayahuasca is a sacred power plant that grows in the Amazon jungle. In the Quechua language, ayahuasca means “vine of the dead” or “vine of the soul.” The vine reminds me of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent, DNA, the stairway to heaven, and “Jack and the Beanstalk.” I’ve read somewhere (I don’t remember where) that once I decide to go on an ayahuasca retreat, I’ll already be working with Mother Ayahuasca.





Why do I want to go on the ayahuasca retreat?





    

  1. Become spiritually stronger and increase my intuition.
    2. 




  2. Work on forgiveness and increase the love in my heart.
    3. 




  3. Purify my mind, body, and spirit. 
    4. 




  4. Work with Mother Ayahuasca and the curanderas/shamans. 
    5. 




  5. Heal, become brave, and work towards enlightenment.
    6. 




  6. Reduce my anxiety.
    7. 




  7. Open my third eye.
    8. 




  8. Experience the Bardo without fear.
    9. 




  9. Connect with nature.
    10. 






The ayahuasca ceremony is similar to a sweat lodge, but instead of going into the lodge, we will go within. Tobacco smoke and incaros (singing or whistling) also bless and protect. A lot of spiritual work with ayahuasca is about remembering who we are.





There are shamans all over the world. During the retreat, I will work closely with the curandera/shaman and ayahuscera. I also realize that being near the shamans and sacred plants will allow me to absorb what I need to heal.





Now that I’m working with Mother Ayahuasca, I’ve had a few synchronicities. The first was when I read the book “Ayahuasca Medicine” by Alan Shoemaker. I looked up a video on YouTube about Alan, and I noticed the hotel he was staying at was the same one I had just booked for my weekend trip to Machu Picchu (before the retreat). The only difference was the hotel’s location—mine was in Cusco, and he was in Iquitos. The hotel we had in common is La Casona, which means “the mansion.”





The second synchronicity was Alan’s good friend in the book was named “Gina.” My name is not a common name. It may not mean anything, but I felt some sort of connection to the author.





According to Alan, most people do not receive visions but only experience a purge, which includes vomiting and diarrhea, which can still make them feel better and lighter. Therefore, medicine can work without visions. The medicine will go where it needs to go.





Additionally, Alan mentioned that a curandero in Peru informed him that the new shamans will likely be gringos or gringas (people from different countries). Many of the youth in Peru are not interested in following their ancestors’ path. But people all around the world are opening their hearts and minds to shamanism.





May we heal on all levels. Namaste.






			

	


			
				


	

							
The Transient Life
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		













I am starting to understand the Buddhist terms of “impermanence” and “openness.” I recall telling my Buddhist teacher, during tea time, that I exist and I don’t exist, and that there is a lot of freedom because I don’t exist. My teacher said, “No, that’s not correct. You do exist.” I felt a little embarrassed being corrected in front of everyone in the group.





I went home telling myself, “I am right – I don’t exist.” I held onto my opinion firmly for many months. Now I realize that my teacher wanted me to go beyond dualist thinking. I know the correct answer to the riddle of this problem: I am open-minded. I am space. 





According to the Tibetan Book of the Dead, upon physical death, the body dissolves from earth to water, water to fire, fire to air, and air to space. I believe one of the secrets to life is to cultivate an open and spacious mind while living in a physical body. How can my mind become like space? How would I live differently?  





Another word in Buddhism is “impermanence.” We are transient beings. Many grasping and attachments develop when we fail to let go of our attachments. Fear also holds us back. 





I recently read a book titled “In Love with the World” by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. In this book, he says that life is a dream and we live in dream worlds – the day and night dream. Mingyur even learns to realize he is dreaming during his nighttime dreams. He also said that when we sleep, it is similar to the dream state of physical death. 





I had a realistic dream last night. I recall being in a house, but it wasn’t my childhood home, except for the presence of a piano and a piano bench. I was looking for my mother’s shoes, which I found on the floor and under the piano bench. Then, I remember being outside the house, where I saw my mom and dad standing together. However, in the dream, my dad was physically present, and my mom was more like a hologram. My mom did not talk. I gave my dad a big hug and said I missed mom with tears in my eyes. I started to cry as he held me.





My dad hugged me back and asked if everything was okay. I told him I was okay. My mom stood nearby like a witness. Somehow, I knew she wasn’t really there. Then I woke up. I cried a little again, because it was Mother’s Day and I missed my mom.





The dream gave me a lot of comfort because I know my parents are okay. My mom passed away just a few months ago, which could explain why she was present in a hologram. I am trying not to make judgments about the dream. However, there’s a lot to reflect upon.





The point of this blog post is that we can all develop a spacious mind. We can work on the transitional stages in our present lives, rather than waiting until physical death to achieve the spaciousness of our mind. Can we learn to hold onto nothing?





I know I can be in this world and be okay, despite the ups and downs of life. I see each person as a Buddha, just like Mingyur does. Each person has all the elements within them, just as I do. Each person has the ability to “wake up” in the dream. 





My Buddhist teacher wanted to teach me a lesson. I needed to learn to let go of my opinions. Also, when I say, “I am right,” I limit myself. Making strong judgments creates a box around me, so where is the sky now? 





Meditation and self-reflection create mental and spiritual space. We need to return to our self-development and alone time, free from distractions. By doing so, we can reclaim our spacious minds and cultivate a more profound sense of inner peace.





Namaste.



		
	
			

	


			
				


	

							
Pearls of Grace (Poem)
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		









I’ve gone through a lot lately. I fractured my ankle on February 7, and then my mom passed away two weeks later on February 25. My brothers and I moved our mom from her apartment to a long-term facility. She was becoming weaker and needed more help. And then, a month later, my mom contracted the Norovirus. She was very sick, but I thought she’d pull through. I saw her two days before she passed. She was eating and talking, and we watched a DVD movie together. But then I received the news that she had died. I still can’t believe she’s gone. 

My beautiful mother, Judy Ann Karlen, was kind, loving, and always thought of other people. I hope to carry on her perseverance, gentleness, and courage. 

I’ve learned a few things from my mom’s passing. The first lesson is that small acts of kindness are so appreciated. I hope to increase the beauty of my words. Why do I hold back so much? Words are so powerful! Simple words of comfort mean a lot to me, too. For example, “I’m sorry for your loss.” 

The second lesson is that I can’t change people – only myself. After my mom died, I called the admissions director (at the long-term facility) to see if they had found my mom’s wheelchair. The lady did not acknowledge my mom’s death – no words, nothing. My feelings were hurt because the lady knew my mom. I also realized that I expected her to respond in a certain way.

The third lesson is the power of grounding. Grounding helps me connect with Mother Earth. I envision sending roots of energy down into the earth. Sometimes, I imagine my roots wrapping around a lodged tree root deep in the earth. Many times, my energy is spacey and floating without an anchor. I am like a tree with branches that reach up to the open sky and roots that find safety deep in the ground. 





Grounding also helps to calm my emotions and keep me tethered to Mother Earth. I also need more mother energy right now. 

Meditation also helps me calm my mind. I can experience a peaceful state and know that I am safe. I remember to breathe into my belly during meditation, nourishing the dantian and solar plexus. Meditation is magical—it helps me clear and clean my mind and bring me into the present moment.

A few days after my mom’s funeral (March 28), I felt a spirit lightly kiss my forehead during the night. It actually woke me up. At first, it startled me. Then I realized how loving the kiss felt.





I am still grieving – some days better than others. I miss my mom so much!


Pearls of Grace
By GG

The call arrived as the morning sun 
filtered into my room

They said you were gone
with a casual voice like yesterday’s news

Confusion chased me in despair
A deep fog blurred my thoughts

It was supposed to be you and me against 
the world,
a comfort only a mother can give

Beautiful, you are
my mother
My bridge to all things

The beads of time flash in memories
unseen to seen

With grief, I cross over to you
Your heavenly voice calling out to me

Touching the pearls of your grace
The invisible thread connects my forever love to you



Namaste.






			

	


			
				


	

							
Tree of Greatness – Arts Consortium of Carver County (ACCC) Gallery
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		









Tree of Greatness
By Gina Gafford
Member’s Show
Photo and Poem
Sponsored by the Literary Committee of the Arts Consortium of Carver County
ACCC Gallery at the Chaska Community Center (artsofcarvercounty.org)
November 11, 2024 – January 10, 2025

I took the photo of this ancient, impressive tree when I was in Ireland in September 2024. The beautiful tree is around 600 years old and resides at Blarney Castle & Gardens in Cork. The tree is called the “Witch’s Yew Tree.” The witch is a typical figure of fantastic legends in Ireland. In 2019, the Witch’s Yew Tree was voted Ireland’s Tree of the Year!

I decided to name the poem “Tree of Greatness” because I could see how the yew tree connected with the energies of the cosmos combined with what I thought defined greatness.

Tree of Greatness
By Gina Gafford

I was born 
from a seed of hope

the sun within my leaves said
grow to greatness 
and be a channel of
love

the stars within my many branches said
reach out with discovery

the ancestors within my trunk said
reach deep with introspection

the milky way within my roots said
make respectful connections

the moon within my sap said
dream of heaven on earth

nothing born will die












Chaska Community Center ACCC Gallery (11×14 photo)










Chaska Community Center ACCC Gallery










Chaska Community Center ACCC Gallery






			

	


			
				


			
				


	

							
Tanka Poems
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		













Right now, I am working on a collection of Tanka poems. The word “Tanka” means “short poem.” It’s a thirty-one-syllable poem and follows a syllable pattern of 5-7-5-7-7. This style of poem originates from Japan.





No. 1
walking on the beach
salty tears fall down my face
blue waves help me breathe
the vast ocean doesn't care
my heart is a broken shell

No. 2
the ancient tree stands
my roots hide fake history 
my sap burns with truth
my tough branches reach heaven
I grow green in oppression 

No. 3
tiny snowflakes fall 
kisses from heaven above
sacred crystals form
my cold beauty is wonder
until i melt into one

No. 4
my mind is the lake
turbulent thoughts come and go
wind blows memories 
secret concentric circles
block rock sits at the center

No. 5
bathe under the moon
lunar energy shines bright
the glow casts a spell
tonight all my dreams come true
my moon manifestation

No. 6
the eternal flame
opens a door in the mind
orange sun reflection
self awareness arises
wisdom warms the heart with love 






			

	


			
				


	

							
Beautify the Mind
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		













There will be challenges as technology continues to merge with the human mind. The main challenge is energy. Everything is energy! Unfortunately, the energy from computers is mostly negative. Computers also emit UV light radiation (blue light), X-ray radiation, and EMF radiation.





Last night, I had a message come into my mind. The message said that our world has different energies – positive and negative. If someone is on the yogi path, aware, and has a higher consciousness, the negative energies may try to disrupt the path. I could feel these energies last night.





Therefore, we must increase everything – meditation, yoga, mantras, pranayama, prayers, and positive affirmations. We need to eat from the Earth (fruits, vegetables, and organic foods – if possible). No Bioengineered Food Ingredients! Also, do not be a corpse/carcass eater.





We need to limit our time on all screens. We must find ways to purify and beautify the mind (for example, spend more time in nature).





I also received the message that we must take the yogi path seriously. The opposing forces feel strong – and it’s because we are at a crossroads with the truth about humanity. The history books are not correct. The veil is thinning. We have a past – because we are the past.





We must shine our light bright and replace fear with LOVE. If we have negative thoughts, we will replace them with positive thoughts and affirmations. 





Affirmation Examples:





    

  • I have a beautiful mind.
    • 




  • I feel love in my heart.
    • 




  • The people around me (say names) are beautiful.
    • 




  • I have a strong mind.
    • 




  • I have a strong heart.
    • 




  • I love myself.
    • 




  • I love my family and friends (say names).
    • 




  • I practice yoga and meditation every day.
    • 




  • I am brave.
    • 




  • I have the power to change my thoughts.
    • 




  • Thoughts are things – so I must have positive thoughts.
    • 




  • I stay in the present moment (here and now).
    • 




  • I am healthy.
    • 




  • I am creative.
    • 




  • I am an eternal being with loving light.
    • 




  • Only loving light may enter my body and mind.
    • 




  • I am thankful for my life.
    • 







The Path, by GG
through a candle
the light flickers
the past merges with the present
the path illuminated





I am sending you love! Namaste.

			

	


			
				


	

							
Spiritual War
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		








Wisdom can protect us.










The world is becoming a dangerous place. Not because of potential wars or world conflicts. It’s because computers/internet (mainly phones) are making people into narcissists. I have dealt with a narcissistic person. It’s a huge problem. The phone is tailored to the person, especially with algorithms. It’s only going to get worse with AI technology. 





We are at a crossroads with AI technology. There are so many fundamental questions and concerns. My main concern is how AI/computers will change our children’s brains. What kind of humans are developing?





It’s scary. I am limiting my time on my phone or any screen/computer. I may have to buy a flip phone if tracking and algorithms get bad.  





The sad thing is people are becoming brainwashed, and they don’t even know it. The new AI technology can hypnotize people. And their minds are becoming clouded with distraction, anxiety, and addiction.





It’s a strange time to be alive. I must protect my energy, mind, and sanity as a spiritual person. With AI, it will be challenging to determine what is real and what is not. It’s not a war outside of ourselves somewhere far away – it’s a spiritual war.





It’s time to wake up.










https://longevity.stanford.edu/lifestyle/2024/05/30/what-excessive-screen-time-does-to-the-adult-brain/







What Excessive Screen Time Does to the Adult Brain








			

	


			
				


	

							
The Solo Journey
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		








October 2024 Full Moon – Photo by Brent Garens





My patient, Joan, who thought she was going to die during the full moon, died today. I felt a sense of relief. She was a kind and considerate woman. I think she had a conscious death. According to Buddhism, it’s beneficial to have a conscious death. Then you are “awake” to the transition and not in delusion.





After finding out Joan died, I thought about my life as I walked my dog around the fairgrounds. The warm breeze reminded me of the summer weather that is slowly fading. The stars blinked, and the sky was calm.





As I walked, I said, “I’m not ready to die. I have too much work to do.” Every day, I feel the importance of a spiritual life—my yogi life. I must continue meditating and practicing yoga, use my time wisely, and read spiritual books in my free time. I can create a life with awareness and higher consciousness.





I also understand that the journey is solo. No one told me this when I was younger! I was told to go to church—everything was about the church. But when I think about it, everything is solo. We are born solo, think solo, live solo, and die solo. Even Buddha asked, “One is one’s own refuge, who else could be the refuge?”





I wish human beings would take their lives more seriously. Just thinking about it makes my heart swell. We all need to wake up from our delusions and put away our phones. It’s a spiritual battle!





It’s time to wake up and understand we are golden – so precious. We cannot take our time for granted. We need to examine all earthly things that keep us trapped. We are so valuable that everything in the world wants our attention. Now, we need to decide what will help us grow spiritually.





Thank you for taking the time to read this! I’m sending you words of love, appreciation, and bright guiding light.










Spirit, by GG
spiritual message 
from beyond 
a signal 
to be
me

			

	


			
				


	

							
The Treads of My Being (Poem)
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		








“Frequency” By Leo Fortune (leofortuneart.com)










The Treads of My Being
By Gina M. Gafford
Magical, Mystical and Just Plain Cool
Ekphratic Reading (writing something inspired by one of the art pieces)
Sponsored by the Literary Committee of the Arts Consortium of Carver County (ACCC)
Sower Gallery (Shepherd of the Hill Presbyterian Church, Chaska, Minnesota)
October 13, 2024, 12:00-2:00 p.m.

The Threads of My Being
Where are the threads of my being?

I feel winter coolness.
My stiff limbs reach out with sharp edges of imperfection.

Am I in tune?

I feel barren and naked.
Alone and scared.

Slowly, I hear the distant drumbeat of spring.
The threads of my being flow with the colors of the rainbow.
The hidden pulse echoes around me.

I come back to my center.
The summer of my heart. 
I connect with the roots of my ancestors.
I feel the vibrations of wisdom and acceptance.

I must embrace change.
And heal my wounds.
Transformation from the inside out.

I burst with colors – yellow, orange, red, purple, and brown.
The musty earth begs for my offering.
I let go – once again.
Another chance to fall back into love.