Month: May 2025

Preparing for an Ayahuasca Retreat

/ Tunnel Vision 8 





In less than two weeks, I will be leaving for Peru. I will spend four days in Cusco to see Machu Picchu, and then I will spend 10 days at a retreat center in Tarapoto, located in the Amazon jungle. Currently, I’m on a diet to prepare for the 10-day cleanse, which excludes sugar, caffeine, salt, meat (no problem – I’m a vegetarian), junk food, alcohol (which I don’t consume), and dairy products. I can eat fresh or cooked vegetables, legumes, beans, rice, oats, quinoa, and other grains. Additionally, I can consume fresh fruits and juices, as well as organic eggs.





Last summer, I had booked a yoga retreat in Peru, but I changed my mind. I decided to join an ayahuasca plant medicine retreat with Dr. Mary Newstrom instead (https://www.zenithhigh.com/). I had been eyeing this retreat for a few years. However, every time registration came up, I felt fear. I wasn’t ready to work with Mother Ayahuasca.





I’m still not sure if I will participate in the four ayahuasca ceremonies during the retreat. I will follow my intuition. One of my friends reminded me that my mom just passed away in February, and I might be sensitive to energies, so I should take caution.





Another friend said I should embrace the once-in-a-lifetime experience. Nevertheless, I’m preparing for the retreat and also starting a digital detox by reducing my screen time. However, the most important thing is having an open heart and mind. 





Mother Ayahuasca removes the veil to the Bardo, the “in-between” world. To enter this realm, I must become a brave warrior, one who does not fear anything, and this requires courage. One warrior that comes to my mind is St. Joan of Arc. She also received visions and messages from the spirit world, and she faced her fears.





In some schools of Buddhism, the Bardo is an intermediate and transitional state between death and rebirth. The term “Bardo” means “in-between.”





I think we can work with Bardo in our present lives. Additionally, it’s crucial to realize that the quality of our minds follows us after death, whether joyful or troubled. If we don’t work with Bardo now, we will eventually need to face it.












Ayahuasca Vine





Ayahuasca is a sacred power plant that grows in the Amazon jungle. In the Quechua language, ayahuasca means “vine of the dead” or “vine of the soul.” The vine reminds me of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent, DNA, the stairway to heaven, and “Jack and the Beanstalk.” I’ve read somewhere (I don’t remember where) that once I decide to go on an ayahuasca retreat, I’ll already be working with Mother Ayahuasca.





Why do I want to go on the ayahuasca retreat?





    

  1. Become spiritually stronger and increase my intuition.
    2. 




  2. Work on forgiveness and increase the love in my heart.
    3. 




  3. Purify my mind, body, and spirit. 
    4. 




  4. Work with Mother Ayahuasca and the curanderas/shamans. 
    5. 




  5. Heal, become brave, and work towards enlightenment.
    6. 




  6. Reduce my anxiety.
    7. 




  7. Open my third eye.
    8. 




  8. Experience the Bardo without fear.
    9. 




  9. Connect with nature.
    10. 






The ayahuasca ceremony is similar to a sweat lodge, but instead of going into the lodge, we will go within. Tobacco smoke and incaros (singing or whistling) also bless and protect. A lot of spiritual work with ayahuasca is about remembering who we are.





There are shamans all over the world. During the retreat, I will work closely with the curandera/shaman and ayahuscera. I also realize that being near the shamans and sacred plants will allow me to absorb what I need to heal.





Now that I’m working with Mother Ayahuasca, I’ve had a few synchronicities. The first was when I read the book “Ayahuasca Medicine” by Alan Shoemaker. I looked up a video on YouTube about Alan, and I noticed the hotel he was staying at was the same one I had just booked for my weekend trip to Machu Picchu (before the retreat). The only difference was the hotel’s location—mine was in Cusco, and he was in Iquitos. The hotel we had in common is La Casona, which means “the mansion.”





The second synchronicity was Alan’s good friend in the book was named “Gina.” My name is not a common name. It may not mean anything, but I felt some sort of connection to the author.





According to Alan, most people do not receive visions but only experience a purge, which includes vomiting and diarrhea, which can still make them feel better and lighter. Therefore, medicine can work without visions. The medicine will go where it needs to go.





Additionally, Alan mentioned that a curandero in Peru informed him that the new shamans will likely be gringos or gringas (people from different countries). Many of the youth in Peru are not interested in following their ancestors’ path. But people all around the world are opening their hearts and minds to shamanism.





May we heal on all levels. Namaste.






			

	


			
				


	

							
The Transient Life
						

			 / Tunnel Vision 8								

			


		

		













I am starting to understand the Buddhist terms of “impermanence” and “openness.” I recall telling my Buddhist teacher, during tea time, that I exist and I don’t exist, and that there is a lot of freedom because I don’t exist. My teacher said, “No, that’s not correct. You do exist.” I felt a little embarrassed being corrected in front of everyone in the group.





I went home telling myself, “I am right – I don’t exist.” I held onto my opinion firmly for many months. Now I realize that my teacher wanted me to go beyond dualist thinking. I know the correct answer to the riddle of this problem: I am open-minded. I am space. 





According to the Tibetan Book of the Dead, upon physical death, the body dissolves from earth to water, water to fire, fire to air, and air to space. I believe one of the secrets to life is to cultivate an open and spacious mind while living in a physical body. How can my mind become like space? How would I live differently?  





Another word in Buddhism is “impermanence.” We are transient beings. Many grasping and attachments develop when we fail to let go of our attachments. Fear also holds us back. 





I recently read a book titled “In Love with the World” by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. In this book, he says that life is a dream and we live in dream worlds – the day and night dream. Mingyur even learns to realize he is dreaming during his nighttime dreams. He also said that when we sleep, it is similar to the dream state of physical death. 





I had a realistic dream last night. I recall being in a house, but it wasn’t my childhood home, except for the presence of a piano and a piano bench. I was looking for my mother’s shoes, which I found on the floor and under the piano bench. Then, I remember being outside the house, where I saw my mom and dad standing together. However, in the dream, my dad was physically present, and my mom was more like a hologram. My mom did not talk. I gave my dad a big hug and said I missed mom with tears in my eyes. I started to cry as he held me.





My dad hugged me back and asked if everything was okay. I told him I was okay. My mom stood nearby like a witness. Somehow, I knew she wasn’t really there. Then I woke up. I cried a little again, because it was Mother’s Day and I missed my mom.





The dream gave me a lot of comfort because I know my parents are okay. My mom passed away just a few months ago, which could explain why she was present in a hologram. I am trying not to make judgments about the dream. However, there’s a lot to reflect upon.





The point of this blog post is that we can all develop a spacious mind. We can work on the transitional stages in our present lives, rather than waiting until physical death to achieve the spaciousness of our mind. Can we learn to hold onto nothing?





I know I can be in this world and be okay, despite the ups and downs of life. I see each person as a Buddha, just like Mingyur does. Each person has all the elements within them, just as I do. Each person has the ability to “wake up” in the dream. 





My Buddhist teacher wanted to teach me a lesson. I needed to learn to let go of my opinions. Also, when I say, “I am right,” I limit myself. Making strong judgments creates a box around me, so where is the sky now? 





Meditation and self-reflection create mental and spiritual space. We need to return to our self-development and alone time, free from distractions. By doing so, we can reclaim our spacious minds and cultivate a more profound sense of inner peace.





Namaste.